“We are all looking for souls whose devils’ play well with ours’ “.
In our eternal quest ,whether intentional or unintentional , to find the right partner we generally have an attribute list of “What do I want in my guy/ girl ” thing . But there are many who say Love just happens and that list gets thrown out of the window . Now I wonder what happens when that list for the some or many of us changes with time . A quality that one liked in his/her partner suddenly started becoming a turn off and one wishes he/she could change . I am sure all of us have been through this at some point of our life or are still going through this .
Now lets add a new twist to the game ! Our plain vanilla world of love soon started crashing down as the other world opened doors of an alternative BDSM lifestyle . Nobody was a Dom or a Sub at birth and so some of us screamed in disgust and jumped off the boat . Some of us found our calling and soaked in the colors it had to offer and here we are !
But am sure there are many a mortals who often find themselves tagged in a mix of emotional turmoil for reasons galore . What if you are deeply in love with that one person who is not into the BDSM lifestyle . What if you are married already and there is no way you can leave it all away just to be in the alternative lifestyle. What if the society doesn’t approve of a relationship that we practise and your choice of finding a partner is not just limited to yourself . These and many such more reasons must be a cause of turmoils for quite a souls out there . Some might accuse me of putting this phenomena as a more Eastern occurence than the Western World . But I beg to differ . Situations and conditions can arise without being prejudiced to one’s caste, colors and creed . So eventually what we do is we choose to get into a NSA D/s sub relationships and the lucky ones get into a more deeper bond of being !
So is a NSA D/s relationship different from one that is attached? Do the dynamics differ ?
So Lets look at some of the common pointers that are bound to exist whether the D/s relationship is NSA or Attached .
TRUST – The basic fundamental whereby we let our souls open to our darkest corners
HONESTY- To be truthful in our endeavors .
RESPECT – To acknowledge and hold in high regard the beauty of the soul shared .
UNDERSTANDING- To know the little things that make a big difference .
EMPATHY- To be able to perceive & feel our experiences mutually so as to seek maximum pleasure .
OPENNESS- to establish a truthful and open form of communication .
CHEMISTRY – Ahh, If that’s not there , then you might as well be into vanilla.
ACCEPTANCE – The beauty of things lies in the fact that each one of us have our own unique taste and taste for blood .
INTERESTS- Kinky, wierd or sometimes ,just the usual..we all like to experiment at different levels .
ARGUE HEALTHILY – Its not a smooth sailing all the time .So speak up !
SENSE OF HUMOUR- Do I need to explain that !! 😉
GOOD (waiittt ) GREAT SEX – !!!!!!
I am not a psychologist and may not have covered all the points here but I believe the above points are important for any relationship to survive . So where does the line gets drawn between an NSA and an attached relationship .
I tried to think over this and there is only attribute that came to my mind. May be I am wrong and you can help me with this . But all I found missing was EMOTION . First of all , lets get this clear that we are not speaking of a regular casual NSA relationship or a ” Friends with Benefits ” scenario here because for that you don’t require the above mentioned attributes between two partners .
So when the BDSM scenario involves so many attributes can you be into it without any emotion ? Or is there anything called controlled emotion ? The walls are guarded and even if they are open , you hold the doors to them. Is it so easy to be in roleplay at a given moment and then walk out as if nothing happened ? Is it so easy to sexually submit ourselves in our most devilish attributes and come unscathed in the heart ? Can you actually feel nothing for a person who compliments your darkest hidden desires ? Can you actually be cold and emotionally closed to the one who takes you to the tip of absolute sensual erotica and back ?
May be it is or may be not . May be we really feel nothing or may be its just forced upon us . We are all unique in our sense of emotions and are a product of a socio -cultural factors that defines the way we do things and the way we react . I really don’t know what would be an answer to the questions posed . May be there is no answer !
The questions remain eternal , just like the way , our search to find the devil that plays well with ours !!!